Punchy Pepper Sprayed Elvis

A few tims a week I stop into this cozy little restaraunt for breakfast. It's a friendly place with regulars that say hi or good morning to each other as they pass by, everybody that is except this one guy that has a constant snarl on his face, and to top it all off, his name is Elvis, honest, that's his name. Anyway, I've nodded or said hi to him a few times as have others in the place and he just walks by as if we didn't exist. I sit by the table closest to the entrance and he always sits at the table next to me.

Anybody that knows me can tell you that I love my pepper, I love it so much that I blacken everything with it. Sometimes I shake it so hard that it drifts up to my nose and I sneeze.

During the summer they leave the door open to get the air flowing through. One day there was a pretty gusty breeze flowing through so I figured I'd try an experiment on good old Elvis. I held the shaker about 18 inches above the table and shook away letting the breeze carry the flakes over to my buddy Elvis.

Sure enough, a minute or two latter he starts sneezing and sneezing. He was j ust honking away like there was no tomorrow, so much so that the waitress brought him over some paper napkins.

I must have turned a dozen colors trying to hold back my laughter. Every time he blew one it was harder to hold back, especially when I thought about the fact that he didn't have a clue what the hell was going on. He just sat there sneezing for about five minutes while I was almost falling off my chair.

Finally, when I got outside I almost busted a gut laughing. All day long, every time I thought about it I went into hysterics. Hey, why not try it on y our friends? Better still, try it on your enemies... Okay, go ahead, say it. I'm nasty, I'm cruel, I'm a bad person. I don't care because revenge tastes oh so sweet. Hey Elvis, let's do lunch. Huh, what ya say Dude?